Tuesday, 12 November 2013

These boots were made for the National Gallery!

Boots! Gumboots, Welly boots ... ugly, heavy, hypoglycaemia-inducing dog-park boots! Boots I vowed I would beautify! Have you been able to stand the suspense, dear Reader?? Well .... you're in for a treat!

To begin, I wasn't altogether certain when I embarked on the project just how I wanted these boots to turn out. I had no artistic vision, shall we say.

All I had was black rubber boots ...

... and some art supplies.

The beautification began late on a Friday evening. The first draft involved white and gold paints applied in approximations of stripes, stars, and lightning bolts. I was too immersed in the work to take a photo, but the result would not have been out of place in this image:

(Certain readers may be surprised to learn, by the bye, that I am quite intimately acquainted with the oeuvre of KISS. A certain sibling of mine — let's call him Stan — once owned all of their albums — maybe he still does? — and would play them down in his teenage-boy cave — situated, as it happened, right under my bedroom — over and over and over, at volumes that virtually guaranteed I would learn every lyric and bass line. I've thought about mentioning in this post — a sort of revenge, shall we say — that, during his KISS era, Stan took to making fun of my own musical tastes, which included, at the time, a nascent interest in Bruce Springsteen. But that would be tempting fate. Only time will tell which of these artists shall endure.)

Anyway, back to the boots ....

I did not especially want to look like Ace Frehley (spaceman on the far left) at the dog park, so I decided to push on with the transformation and apply more paint. The work carried on almost to midnight! Paul had gone to bed. Freddie had gone to bed. Paint fumes hung heavy and intoxicating in the air. At several points I considered giving up and returning to the swanky store on Granville Street — sod the cost! — for a pair of these:

I persisted, however ... and, at the risk of sounding immodest ... the result was magnificent. Imagine Gustav Klimt and Vincent Van Gogh collaborating to paint a pair of gumboots. My boots are, without a doubt, a precise rendering of what those two masters would have created together! In recognition of their various influences, I'm calling these boots "Starry Night Kiss." Here they are ....

Exquisite, non? I'm expecting Christmas order requests to come flooding in the moment this post goes live. Unless you happen to be Ace Frehley or Bruce Springsteen, you're probably too late. BUT if you happen to make your way to the dog park some rainy, mucky morning, I would be happy to let you admire these one-of-a-kind boots in their rubber and acrylic flesh — no charge to faithful Freddie readers.

In the meantime, here are a few boot-centric shots from today's mucky morning walk ...

The blurriness of this image is evidently because the photographer (Paul) was so physically and emotionally overwhelmed by the splendour of my boots.

Freddie, as you can see, is awestruck.
Nature and Art in Harmony

All this runner was missing was a cape ... and some Wonder Woman boots. She was flying around the park when Freddie and arrived and still going when we left. Good thing I had my own wonder-boots on, or I might have felt a tad frumpy and underachieving.

I didn't anticipate this camouflage effect when I created my boots, but it adds to their exceptionality, I think.

This little girl and I gave each other a smile of mutual acknowledgment. She is clearly in a superior league when it comes to overall rain gear, but I can accept that.

Have a colourful Tuesday, everyone! 


  1. Methinks you're turning into a little bit of a fashion gal. See how it starts? But you should have come to me; I could have hooked you up with some lower priced colourful boots on my side of town. If you ever want more, try the Jean Queen.

    1. Oh, I do have the ability to appreciate fashion (in your blog, say!), but my reality is I rarely spend more than 30 seconds deciding what I'm going to wear (and very often the outerwear is exactly what I donned the day before)! Re. the boots, they were pretty darn cheap, and I wouldn't have missed out on the hilarity of painting them for anything!


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